Ah, the infamous grey area of Straight Edge ethics. To me sex is okay among two consenting, monogamous and committed people....but one night stands and "booty calls" are as psychologically and morally distructive as mind altering substances and can lead to compulsive behavior and/or disease, unwanted pregnancy etc...

I AGREE!

i agree as well. you can have sex but don't sleep around. it's disrespectful to yourself.

It's all about self-respect. I think it's fine to have sex when you're committed to one person. But when you become a 'booty-call' and one night stands, is when I feel like it's not right.

Luckily, marriage solves that dilemma.

There is no definition of what each X stands for and each sXe may give a different answer. To some they mean: no alcohol, not drugs, no cigarettes; to some they mean: no drugs, no alcohol, no promiscuous sex and that is the real meaning. The sxe is about being pure so each X stands for the things that remain you pure. Having sex remains you pure…?
"Promiscuous sex denotes casual sex between many partners. Behavior includes sex with partners that are not one's spouse." WIKIPEDIA DEFINITION
Who in this days, get married dressed in white (the real thing), who stays with the first person they had sex with, and who after having sex if it change couple doesn’t have sex with it?? NO ONE! So you had 2 o 4 couples and had sex with it, doesn’t that make it a few partners???
People on the edge should not have sex at all, so the ones that have sex call them self Poison Free. People that want to justify them self changing the real meaning of the sxe, are the ones that are sxe because of the label, if you have sex and like labels than put the Poison Free label.

And please don’t get offended, is just an opinion.

Alright i have a question... i curently smoke, drink, use and am very sexually active... my dad sent me to this site... i came with an open mind... n now say i want to change my ways and "better myself" im not saying i do, but if i wanted to, because ive done all this shit in the past does that mean i cant be edge?

if you really want to clean your act up, then go for it! start off slowly, then build up until you are totally clean. if u can, just drop it all at once! but, i understand that might be kinda hard. regardless, trying is the first step. and if u stay clean n what not, sure... you can be thought of as straight edge. i mean... i can honestly say i have never smoked, done drugs, drank or had sex. i am 20 years old. i dont LABEL myself as straight edge, but i feel a connection with people who do label themselves as straight edge. i think its an awesome way to live (the no drugs, smoking, drinking thing) haha im just a virgin because i have chosen to...

I used to drink, smoke weed all the time and have sex with boys I was not necesarly in a relationship with. I claim edge today, I am proud. It is not what you used to do that makes you straight edge, it is what you are GOING to do. Lot of straight edge people drank/smoke/did drugs/had sex before they take the label. It is not a good or a bad thing, take it from where you are +
and just work towards it. There is some good reading on the message boards about it, check it out.

Its shore to shore coming to australia , the wave is growing

To me, you can have sex if you're straightedge as long as you love the person.

To each their own

how do one become sxe?

you just decide. there is no secret initiation or certain vow you have to take. it's just a personal choice. you can decide that from here on out, you are going to abstain from alcohol, drugs, and promiscuous sex.

Sex is a reaction to a primal human urge. To deny yourself isn't natural. We, as humans are programmed to procreate. As a result, women are given hormones that make you attached to a man and wanting to obviously be with him physically. Then again, its not the sixties, so don't sleep with everyone and make sure you protect yourself!

would getting head count as sex at all?
its a sexual activity...but its not entirely the real thing.

Straight Edge is a way of life based on the principles of keeping your body clean. Clean from drugs, alchohol, addictions and diseases. Fxcking will lead to diseases, even if you use protection (99% effecitve isn't perfect.)

It all came about with lyrics, and one of the lyrics was "Don't Fxck" and this is because fxcking generally means having sex with someone you don't love and possibly don't know. So as long as you know the person, they are trustworthy, you love them (and your own definition of love can make this different too) and you aren't tricking yourself into thinking you are being safe then yes there should be no reason that you can't have sex and claim edge. This of course is completely subject to everyone's opinion, but amongst my friends and myself this is what we believe.

In my opinion the song "Out of Step" is so clear. Dont smoke , Dont Drink, Dont Fuck.

However :| I remember that one friend (from LA) told me that her uncle said " If you are not virgin, You can´t be sxe".

god! I didn´t understand clearly why he said that. did you?.

Being a virgin has nothing to do with being Straight Edge. Sure, being a virgin is a safe way to be poison free, but it's not a requirement to being Straight Edge. That would mean that married people in a committed monogamous relationship that are free of STDs can't be Straight Edge if they have sex. We're not monks; Straight Edge isn't based on the Ten Commandments.

Sex is a normal human action that will not harm your body unless you are unsafe and don't act as an adult and think about your future.

Someone would have only said that you had to be a virgin if they didn't understand what being Straight Edge meant or if they didn't like the lifestyle. I can't fully understand someones intentions for saying that, but I can say that they are misinformed on what it means to be Straight Edge.

And to you, I say just be true to yourself and be Straight Edge (if you are or choose to be) for you and no one else.


My Life. My Choice. My Pride.

I think it okay to have sex just as long as you are in a relationship with that person...
and I also think it okay to have sex with one person without being in a relationship with that person as long as the two have a understanding not to have sex with another person without saying something first

claiming edge means to not smoke, not drink, not do drugs, and not have premiscous sex...it doesnt matter if your a virgin or not when you claim edge...but sex is okay when its between to people in a committed relationship and both parters dont have to be edge, so ya... thats edge....sex shouldnt be abused because thats how herpies and shit get spread around so please plan ahead if your thinking about taking that step...wrap it up

hey guys i need help
Ive had sex with an ex girlfriend while being edged.
I still wanna be edged.
Even tho ive had Causal Sex.
Only once.

The original inception of Straight edge is just the drugs/alcohol and cigarettes as far as I knew.
Also I don't understand what is wrong with having sex with someone who is a friend when you both consent. I would never treat any of the girls I slept with disrespectfully. I'm not saying I sleep around but I used to and I didn't feel like it was a lack of respect on either party involved. I had no less or more respect for them after wards. We were friends who shared some intimate moments. I'm not sure if that makes sense or not. Also none of them were one night stands.

I'm calling BULLSHIT on your comment. You can "love" someone and NOT be in a relationship with them. Now what?

seems to be a lot of mixed answers and confusion in this thread lol

being sXe, i have made the choice of no drugs, no alcohol, no sex. that's what it means to me. also i am a Christian so that has a lot to do with it too. MOST STRAIGHTEDGE PEOPLE I KNOW, it means no drugs, no alcohol, no casual sex.(meaning sex with any random person you don't have a serious bond with) i am a little for stringent with my guidelines, but that's me.

lynna jenn do you mean to say "no sex" ever or "no sex before marriage" as these two statements have completely different meanings.

And I think this is where many people get hung up with the whole sex issue. The base of the concept is to keep yourself free of what is addictive ad poisonous to your body and mind. Thus when you speak about SxE and sex you have to think about it in that manner.

SxE is not limited to any religion or philosophy but it can be used to accompany other things like Christianity or Veganism. But I think it's important that the philosophy behind SxE stays true to SxE. Meaning that if you don't want to have sex before marriage, that that is not because you are Straight Edge that is because of other reasons.

Everyone had a different definition for straight edge. Some of us wait for sex, some don't. Some are vegan/veggie, some are meat eaters.
But we all fallow the No drugs, no ciggs, and no alcohol rule.

A lot of edge kids don't have sex till marriage.

Well I'm one edge kid that doesn't believe in marriage and most likely will never get married and I like sex.

I know every guy I've had sex with very well. I don't find anything wrong that.

"edge sex" can be between two GOOD friends i believe (like that have been friends for years)
but not just every truck stop hooker you meet on a friday night
but it would probably be better for your health to keep it between you and one lucky other
and like i said early..wrap it up

marriage has nothing to do with "edge sex" because marriage isnt for everyone, neither is dating
but everybody, being human, has sexual desires that need to be seen too

i like saying "edge sex" by the way
everyone should say it just for a good laugh every once in a while

I still do too Its awesome, you guys should try it. I drink, smoke a lot of weed, and fuck like a rabbit....and somehow I still have a job, love life, still go to school... so whats the big fuckin' deal?

straight edge isnt for everyone and we can respect your choice to smoke and drink all fuck all the people you want just like we would like you to respect our decision not to

but if you really wanna know what the big deal is is this
smoking=lung cancer
large amounts of weed intake can be harmful
to much sex with random people=higher risk for stds

its not really the fact that you have a job or love life its just how long do you really want to live that life

Being straightedge is about not drinking, doing drugs, smoking, or having sex out of a committed relationship. your version of committed is up to you.
Also, claiming edge is a huge responsibility, and in a lot of places if you don't own up to it or "break" edge, you could be in for it.
saying that militant edge does not exist is a lie,
everyone knows almost every big city's hardcore scene is full of violence and fighting.

i don really like ny labels.....but hey....tell me sumthin......Sex...its sumthin about Love.....true love...you dont go around having sex with ur pals..or get drunk nd get a threesome.....over nd above all...we all realize this..i luckily understood this pretty soon...and am so happy nd satisfied with my life


nywyz...if ny of u wnna talk wit me..hit me up at asid12345678@gmail.com

i guess it just comes down to don't sleep around, it doesn't have much to do with being straight edge per se, it just has to do with not disrespecting yourself. in response to a comment i saw up there, i don't think its necessary to be "monogamous" to have sex with someone, as long as i loved the person i'd consider having sex with them, but that's just my own personal standard. i'd like to believe that if i wanted to have sex with someone i wasn't romantically in love with (say, a really good friend) that i'd be able to do that without "breaking edge" or whatever that would imply.

long story short: straight edge doesn't really prohibit promiscuous sex, but if you're a piece of shit, you're a piece of shit.

for lack of the ability to edit that post, let me just say there should definitely be something against having sex/doing anything with someone else who's under the influence. if you're straight edge and you're hooking up with someone who's drunk/high/whatever, that seriously messes with consent and you shouldn't be doing anything with them.

A lot of people on here are talking about 'sex before / not before marriage'. This is not very inclusive of same-sex couples as they often live in countries where they cant marry. OR inclusive of people (such as myself - female heterosexual) who dose not believe in marriage. So, just a thought for you to consider, when you are defining your ideas around these issues, are you being inclusive?

Or have i missed the point completely and are same-sex-attracted individuals not able to be straight edge?

it's ok if u love the other person. if you're having sex getting your own satisfaction, you're being a very selfish person. It's different when you find satisfaction in the others pleasure, that's real love. in my opinion it's good to have sex if u're in a serious relationship.


i don't know if u all gonna understand what i tried to express, my english isn't good at all :B

Personally I think that if you are sober then your more likely not to sleep with some random person, however intimacy is normal even if there isn't a long term relationship so I don't think you would be breaking edge if you had sex and weren't in a long term relationship as the sex before maririage thing brings in religion and many straight edge people aren't religious.I think as long as both people are in full control of what they are doing then it's okay but say if you disagree I would like to know cos it seems the sex/caffiene/non alcoholic beer parts of edge are all a bit shady

I think no promiscuous sex is part of being straight edge. But I guess it's up to you to determine what promiscuous means to you. My way of doing things is that I won't have sex with someone unless we are in a serious relationship for a bit, but to each their own.

So, if someone who was edge had sex, with someone they just met, would they still be edge if they weren't gonna have sex again until marriage?

StraightEdgeRocker i would also like to know the answer to the first part of your question, i dunno why you would have sex and then wait until your married to have sex again though. I haven't done this myself but i am interested in what people say.
Minor threat wrote in out of step 'i don't fuck' so it's really your interpretation of what 'fucking' is, whether he simply meant fucking your head with drugs, having sex with a random girl or having sex with someone you know but are not in a relationship with, or having sex outside of marriage.
That is another question i would like to ask, what if you are not in a relationship but you are very close and decide to have sex?
I know they are not a straight edge band but the lead singer of Gallows is edge and he wrote a song about not having to get girls drunk to have sex with them but he also says 'i'm sick of all this long term shit, i just wanna fuck'.
As Matt D said i think it depends what it means to you, how do you even determine what a serious relationship is, your partner could be cheating on you behind your back or could break up with you straight after having sex.
I don't know though, with drugs and alcohol its much more clear cut as they are substances and not an act. Patrick flynn from have heart said not to say no to sex because intimacy is normal, but i think thats the point, if you are close and intimate and not just fucking a stranger then i think you will be okay. Sorry for rambling just getting all my thoughts out.

i'm not edge (just clearin that up) never even heard of it til today. but i've been lurkin around this site for a while now and i'm just baffled that people are actually asking others over the internet who they can or cannot have sex with to fit into this 'straight edge' group and what they can/cannot put into their bodies... do you really long for belonging that bad? or do you just enjoy having a set of guidelines to follow...? i'm not putting this lifestyle down, even as an occasional and responsible (if you can believe that) drug user, i respect everyones decisions, as long as they're informed and passionate about those decisions. but i just dont understand why someone would want to 'claim edge' if they feel obligated to ask what they can and cannot do...its puzzling to me, as a promoter of free thought and personal choice.

whether they have sex is not a question( the main question is: do they have SAFE sex!

This is ridiculous. straight edge is pretty cut and dry. and the loop holes people find in it in order to get off make me sick.
why do we not drink? Because it lowers your inhibition, and can seriously hurt your body by taking the alcohol in. and as a means to help keep a pure mind.
why do we not use drugs? Because it lowers your inhibitions and can seriously hurt your body. and as a means to keep a pure mind.
why do we not fuck?
Because like alcohol and drugs it DOES lower your inhibitions. how? Because you're so driven to get your Dick played with or get your pussy fucked that your morals typically go out. nothing else matters because you wanna fuck so bad.
your body can be seriously hurt. ie, std's. not to mention getting pregnant with someone you shouldn't be pregnant with. and how pure can your mind be if all you think of someone is how good of a fuck they might be.
straight edge people are not perfect. no one is.
but that is the point of being straight edge. to strive to be something better than the natural man.
Stop making excuses. either commit or don't. but don't mislead people who don't know better by saying its a personal choice. you aren't committed to suzy bein sxe. you're committed to something that came before you and will last longer than your time. there are standards and if you don't want to meet them then stop pretending

my brother, one year younger than me, is straight edge. just today i bought him a pint, im only 16 my older bro took me out an i loved it. now no one is straight edge. if u want a shitty life then do not be straight edge! everyone is no longer straight edge by time they are 18 any way (because its shit).

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