Tell us about yourself.
I am Lea, 31 year old woman born and living in Berlin, Germany. Other people describe me as a small and very charismatic person ;-)… I live in Berlin with my husband, my small daughter (6 months) and our two sphynx cats. I have been straight edge since I was a child – because I have never tested drugs. I had a very bad relationship with alcohol though, but quit it since four years now. So now my moral is: no alc, no drugs, no smoking and no fish or meat (almost vegan, sometimes vegetarian).
I am studying Cybersecurity right now. In my remaining free time I love painting and sketching & to spend quality time with my family and closest friends.
What’s currently on your playlist?
How do you define Straight Edge?
For me, being straight edge means saying yes or no to a particular poison 100% of the time. Since I have a certain career behind me, I can’t claim to have given up all poisons 100% from the start, but once I make a decision, I stick with it. I think being sober doesn’t meet the same requirements as being straight edge. In addition, the impulse does not necessarily come from outside with straight edge, but it can also be a basic setting “from the beginning”. In my case, for example, I have never consumed drugs in my life and it was a conscious decision.
How important is music to your relationship with straight edge?
Yes, I think you can live straight edge even without a direct connection to the straight edge music scene. I had chosen this way of life before I even got to know the music of straight edge. I rarely listen to hardcore or music explicitly labeled as straight edge these days.
What’s your straight edge story?
As I said in my introduction note, I’ve always been straight edge, at least when it comes to drugs. My mental illness also had a major influence on this decision. I think you should always consciously choose a healthy psyche and not the poisons that damage the body. But it’s all a process in which you grow. I also started drinking alcohol when I was 18 through friends. But four years ago I realized that it was anything but good for me and I stopped drinking alcohol completely.
Next, I would like to eliminate caffeine from my toxins, as I actually experience an increased heart rate due to caffeine, which I don’t like at all.
I remember one evening when I was in a bar with friends and had drunk a lot, including vodka. I had a film break and woke up in my apartment in the morning with no memory of the rest of the evening. A friend then said to me that I had told him that I loved him, which I had no recollection of and didn’t feel that way in my eyes. After having such experiences several times, I gave up alcohol.
How has straight edge influenced your relationships?
I lost a few friends after I decided to stop drinking alcohol and before that I was unfortunately often excluded from group activities by “the cool kids” because I never wanted to smoke weed or tried other drugs. Looking back, I would say that it was exactly the right decision and that I am in the happiest relationship of my life with my husband, who is also straight edge and doesn’t drink alcohol.
Looking back, is there anything about path into and through straight edge that you would do differently?
Looking back, I would have liked to have had more courage to say no to alcohol from the start, as I didn’t like it at all at the beginning.
Do you feel that your gender or age has influenced your experience within the straight edge and hardcore scenes?
In the beginning I often had to listen to questions about whether I was pregnant now. That was pretty annoying. I also find that the younger you start using poisons, the harder it is to explain to others that you have really stopped. Now that I’m 31, I no longer allow myself to be told that I should “join in” but instead have a serious conversation when something like this comes up.
