Social Media: Instagram:@paperheartwithpencilmarks
Tell us about you? What do you do for a living? Do you have any pets, hobbies, pet projects?
I’m a PR & Communications Manager for a hotel brand. I live in the inner city with my husband and our one-eyed black cat Joy. Outside of work my hobbies are weightlifting/fitness and officiating roller derby.
Favorite straight edge (or non-straight edge) bands?
I have a pretty broad taste in music, across the spectrum from punk/alternative to Americana/aly country: Against Me! H20, Gang of Youths, Jason Isbell, John Mayer, Machine Gun Kelly, Hozier, Josh Ritter, KISS, Blink 182, I could go on forever.
What is your definition of straight edge?
I subscribe to a pretty simple definition: a lifelong commitment to no drugs, no smoking, no alcohol.
Where do you see the straight edge scene today?
Being in the straightedge over 30 club now, I can’t say I feel hugely connected to the “scene” as such – other than online. For me it’s been easier to connect with like-minded edge people from all over the world via social media. I’ve made some really great friends that way.
There’s an ongoing debate on whether one can be straight edge without being a part of the music scene, what’s your thoughts on this?
I think you absolutely can be. I have a huge appreciation for the straight edge music scene, and I recognise it’s importance but I don’t think its an essential part of being edge. If the decider on whether or not you are straight edge is if you go to shows, then, certainly in my part of the world, we haven’t had much in the way of live music for the last 18 months.
What are some funny/common misconceptions people have about you being straight edge?
Especially as a woman, if someone has met me in a social setting that doesn’t know me and I decline alcohol, so many times they’ve assumed it’s because I am pregnant! I imagine this is a common reaction alot of edge women deal with. I’m not offended by it, I tend to just laugh and explain I don’t drink alcohol.
What are some challenges you have faced when interacting with other people who are also edge? If you haven’t had any challenges, tell us some challenges you’ve faced when interacting with people who are not edge?
Most edge folks I know, or have met have been cool people. My challenges have come more from interacting with non-edge people. My career whole has been in Public Relations and period of that in the entertainment industry. In PR there’s a lot of entertaining clients and dinners and bars and with that a lot of alcohol. It took me a while to learn to navigate that world as a person who doesn’t drink, especially when I was younger, starting out and less confident.
The other part of my life that I encountered challenges with was dating. I am happily married now – but especially in Australia, we have a big drinking culture, and it certainly plays a part in the dating world. It bothers me that my choice not to drink was often perceived as less socially acceptable than the choice to get drunk. I have always maintained that anyone who has a problem with my lifestyle probably feels that way because it’s not the “norm” here, and it holds a mirror up to them and perhaps causes them to question some of their own choices.
What’s your straight edge story? Was there a key moment that made you realize straight edge is the way you want to live your life? How old were you? How did you find out about straight edge, was there someone in the community that introduced you, or were you introduced to it through people/bands, etc? What drew you to it?
I was 23. I had never been a big partier before, but what initially started as a 12-week health and fitness kick turned into lifelong abstinence. There was no one moment for me though, I was already well aware of the straight edge scene, and there was some cross-over in the music I was into, but as I was going through this phase of self-improvement it was something I really connected with. And ten years later, I’m still very connected to it.
Define what straight edge means to you? Has this changed over the years?
In addition to that simple definition of a lifelong commitment to no drugs, no smoking, no alcohol, to me it’s a value system. And it’s something that carries through all areas of my life. Straight edge was something that allowed me to really interrogate who I was, what my values were, and how I wanted to live my life. Self-love and self-discipline go hand in hand, and I carry that through from being edge to taking care of my mental and physical health, and the integrity that I conduct myself with when it comes to other people.
What, if anything, keeps you committed to the straight edge lifestyle?
After this much time, it’s just such a big part of who I am. I don’t see another path for myself.
What is something you didn’t think you would struggle with by claiming edge?
I didn’t expect it to give me such a critical eye at times. The vast majority of my friends and family, and even my husband, are not straight edge, so sometimes I need to catch myself in my own thoughts and remind myself that it’s not my business.
What do you do for stress relief instead of drinking/drugs, tips for peer pressure?
My stress relief is the gym. Also hanging out with my cat, and my husband and friends. As far as peer pressure goes, I don’t think anyone is immune to it and it is challenging when you’re a young person figuring life out. I think as a straight edge person, it’s important to remember that whatever issues someone has with you, or you choices, are usually way more about their own insecurities.
How was it being straight edge in this pandemic?
I think it’s been hard being anyone in this pandemic. But ultimately I’ve been grateful for being edge. I think a lot of people turned to alcohol, etc as a way to cope. And while I can understand people feeling like they needed something to get by, ultimately it’s going to have a negative impact on your health and your state of mind in a time when you need to do everything you call to stay as physically and mentally well as you can.
Straight edge doesn’t make you immune to the challenges of this time though. For me personally, I’ve dealt with episodes of depression and anxiety in the last 18 months, and I’m still working through that.
If you are in a relationship is your partner straight edge, or have you had a previous relationship with someone who was not straight edge? What, if any, challenges have you faced relating to your lifestyle/choices?
My husband isn’t straight edge, but he also doesn’t do drugs, doesn’t smoke, and has the very occasional beer or a glass of wine with a meal which really doesn’t bother me. If he was a really hard partier we just never would have started dating because our values would be so misaligned. It’s really likewise for people I dated in the past who were not edge, I would never have considered a relationship with someone whose beliefs were so vastly out of step with my own.
Has your family and social life been negatively or positively impacted? Have you faced or are you facing any specific challenges because of your lifestyle choices? If your family/friends are unsupportive, how do you deal?
It’s been such a long time now that its really a non-issue with family and friends. They’re supportive of my choices. For my Hens (bachelorette party), my friends made sure they had some non-alcoholic “champagne” for the event, and they’re always doing things like that to accommodate me.
Some straight edge women/girls I have talked to have told me that they feel isolated and that they find it difficult to relate to people outside of the straight edge scene. Is this something you can relate to?
Not really, while straight edge is an important part of my identity, I am first and foremost a feminist. I love the company of women, and my female friendships are extremely important to me. My closest girlfriends aren’t edge.
How do you explain your lifestyle to others outside of the scene? Do you find it difficult? What’s your elevator pitch?
It depends how much I feel like I can be bothered telling someone. I used to feel I owed people an explanation, but as time goes on and I have gotten older, I have realized that I don’t. It’s my choice how much I decide to tell someone, or whether I feel like debating a person about my life. In most cases, if it’s when I’m offered alcohol I will just politely decline and say that I don’t drink, and if they want to know more, then perhaps we’ll get into a bigger discussion. I also have a pretty sizeable X tattoo on my forearm, so if they are at all familiar with straight edge sometimes it already answers their questions.
Over the past decade or so individuals in recovery have stumbled upon the straight edge lifestyle and it has really spoken to them. Do you feel that the straight edge community has been welcoming to those in recovery? Do you have mixed feelings? Strong Feelings?
It’s not something I have personally experienced, but I don’t believe anyone who wants to be straight edge should be excluded.
How do you feel your straight edge commitment plays into the bigger social justice movement for gender equity?
I feel particularly connected to projects like xsisterhoodx that highlight straight edge female-identifying people, because there is no denying that it has been a male-dominated scene, and still is. Personally, I see my commitment is another opportunity to smash gender stereotypes.
Have you ever had a negative experience in the scene related to your gender?
Not directly, other than coming across nonsense online occasionally sprouting the idea that ‘girls can’t be straight edge’.
Straight edge and the associated music scene have long been male-dominated. What do you see as a woman/girls role in the scene? How has this role changed since you have been involved and what changes would you like to see?
I think women’s roles is to be visible and lift up other straight edge women & girls. To include them and build that community. Seeing yourself reflected in the community you identify with is so important.
Do you feel the straight edge community has done enough to advance gender/race/social issues?
I think we can all do more, regardless of our community. Especially when it comes to race issues. White people, straight edge or otherwise, have a lot of work to do.
Is the scene as inclusive as it likes to think it is? Do you think there’s work to be done? If so, what would you like to see change?
I don’t think the world at large is as inclusive as some people like to think it is. Especially for women, queer people, and people of colour. In the straight edge community, as in every community, we have a responsibility to make room for everyone and ensure minority voices are heard.
