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xsisterhoodx straight edge interview project: Sabrina, 29, Germany, she/her

Socials: Instagram (x6rinax) / TikTok (consumption0) / Facebook (Zxbrina Shbrth)

Tell us about yourself
I work as a tax consultant from my home. In my free time I do pole dance (not professionally, for sport). I’ve been dancing since I was little, but at first not on pole 😀 I play video games, magic the gathering, ride my bike and go to concerts.

What are you listening to these days?
Oh meanwhile i listen to any kind of metal. I started to listen to death-core when i was young. Later on I mostly listened to beatdown and then slam. I currently mix any kind of genre and listen to a lot of hardcore.

What’s your straight edge story?
I haven’t claimed Straight Edge that long ago, I mean it’s like 1.5 years now. At first I was just “Sober”. I am originally from Bavaria in Germany, where drinking beer is highly glorified. I drank alcohol for the first time when I was about 10 years old (yes, that shocks me too). I drank regularly with my friends from the age of 13. We were a mix of ages 13-18 year olds which is why we got alcohol so easily (you get beer an mixed alcohol in Germany at the age of 16). I tried weed when I was 13 years old, but that was only a phase of 2 years and later on again. I stopped after a while again.

In my family, beer was also an integral part of everyday life. No one has a really major drinking problem (that’s what they would call it) but from my current vantage point, I see it differently. In 2016 I moved to Berlin and my alcohol consumption steadily decreased. However, as soon as I drove home, I looked for friends to drink with. In Berlin I lacked the courage to drink. At first in Berlin I rode the train home totally drunk. I was really scared. It was at night and strangers everywhere. So I gave it up quickly and drank more at home.

At some point I realized that I made progress in sports as soon as I didn’t drink, which motivated me to at least to stop it in Berlin. Since I was able to make another big leap in my fitness as a side effect of my veganism in 2019, I tried to avoid alcohol altogether. I researched so much about alcohol because I couldn’t hear the constant negative comments about “being sober” from people around me to just hit it with solid facts. Then I found out, that I had a drinking problem. That was the final wake-up moment.

I was familiar with the straight-edge scene, but in my close circle I had no one who belonged to it and no points of contact. In fact, the first Edge person I met was my current partner. When an friend of his asked me if I was Edge too, I just said “No, just sober” and my partner later said “You’re actually kinda Edge” regarding my mindset etc. So yeah, here I am 😀

How do you define straight edge?
I don’t have a direct definition of straight edge. For me, the difference between sober and straight edge lies in the subculture that was founded out of the hardcore scene. If someone has nothing to do with hardcore, they will never come into contact with straight edge, but in general the attitude to life is the same. The definition of straight edge is a bit different. There are people who, in addition to alcohol, drugs and nicotine, also avoid caffeine and I have already been asked about coffee myself. But for me the statement is concrete, as Ian MacKaye said 😀 I can’t think of any explainable reason why I should break Edge. If you ever come up with a reason, let me know 😀

Do you feel that the straight edge community has been, and should be welcoming to those in recovery?   
I rather think that someone who is in recovery should focus on themselves and work on this stone in life first. It’s also a “What if I can’t make it?” pressure. However, everyone should be welcome.

Have you ever felt that your gender has had influenced your experience in the “straight edge and/or hardcore scene”?
In the hardcore scene, there are more women in bands than in other genres. Nevertheless, there are also the usual moments as a woman that everyone knows.

Has being straight edge had an impact on your relationships?

I have turned away from many “friends” for a long time. They were, as I like to call it, pure friendships of convenience – to drink alcohol. But it doesn’t hurt me, because I have my close circle of friends that I can always count on. My family already accepts that I don’t drink alcohol. However, from time to time I have to struggle with strange statements like “Well, someday you’ll have a beer again”, but that makes me rather angry, even if it’s dismissed as a joke. I also live vegan, which is often the conversation at family celebrations. But mostly positive and interested 🙂

Mother, wife, small business owner. www.justbuttons.org

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