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To Dance or Not to Dance…A Girls Perspective

Originally Published: Thursday, May 19, 2005
Written by: xx

A Sudden Shift from Spectator to Participant

I was standing outside of Sin 13 in San Antonio, Texas chatting it up in between bands when I heard a sudden riff of music. Immediately I turned to my friend Candice and we both sprinted inside the club. Martyr A.D. was beginning to play and I was so excited to finally get to see them play for the first time. As we got up to the front, we watched them play for a few songs and once their definitive single began to play, we both felt that adrenaline rush. Bring Out Your Dead has to have one of the heaviest breakdowns I have ever heard. Candice looked at me and said, “Shall we dance my lady?”

Hesitation at the Edge of the Pit

Of course I said, “Fuck yes!!” although I just stood there like a deer caught in headlights. She jumped right in and began to throw her fists like crazy and stomp the ground like mad. I have seen this girl dance many times before and I have always been jealous of her for it since I myself am too chicken to dance at any show.

Weighing the Risks of the Mosh Pit

The few times I have danced I have been punched hard in the back, elbowed in the face, and kicked in the legs I don’t know how many times. And fuck does it hurt, but every time I’m on the edge of the pit, I feel that little bit of courage I get at every show and want to jump in like the rest of ‘em. I always say before each show, “If there is a girl in there, I’m throwing down tonight!!” I never do, watching the violence and mayhem stops me. I can’t stand to get hit real hard and for what? For fun.

Navigating the Unpredictability of Hardcore Shows

For a while, it seems like fun until someone flies out of the pit and knocks you out, or someone walks on your head or jumps on top of you at a moment’s notice. Most of the time it happens out of nowhere and I get the wind knocked out of me.

The Internal Battle of Joining In

So as always, I watch from the side or the back of the venue and every so often I feel that adrenaline rush and I inch my way towards the pit. Of course, only to be let down by my own conscious and make my way back to the spot I was standing at. But this is no problem for me, I have always been the one to stand and observe the band, ‘cause I always feel that if I’m too busy thinking too hard about wanting to dance or watching the pit, it seems like I miss the band’s performance anyway.

Contemplation: Embracing the Hardcore Dance

So maybe someday I won’t mind getting my ass kicked part and just join in and have some fun. Someday…

Written by kristinmurder on 2005-12-13 22:29:10bring out your dead is a really awesome song.  
but I’m exactly like you when it comes to that stuff. well, at big shows. there’s local shows I’ve gone to around here, and 2 stepped because that’s about all I really know how to do. but when it comes to big, crowded shows, I just stand back and watch. I’m sure it takes time to get used to, not everyone can just be.. born dancers. I’m 15 and I’m sure eventually later on in life I’ll get out there, I don’t know old you are, but I’m sure you will be the same way.
Written by andwedanced on 2005-11-26 14:19:26you shouldn’t let this so called “violence” intimdate you at all. i’m still new to dancing as i’ve only danced for about a year now but at every show i’ve gone to if you get hit people generall appologize. i like you have been severly wounded in some cases (i’ve been kicked, elbowed and punched in the nose more than once) in fact during the unearth set at sounds of the underground the pit got so crowded that i got knocked in the nose and i got a huge nose bleed. fortunately somebody took me out and took me to the med tent but that didn’t stop me, i danced for all the other bands i love anyways. it may seem frightening at first but once you get in you forget about everyone around you – we need as many girls in the pit at every show.Written by Guest on 2005-11-09 10:47:13
Yay for girls in the pit. I’m one of them! 
*spin kicks*
Written by courtney on 2005-11-09 07:09:13Any girl who gets near the pit has guts, i envy those few girls who get out there as the few times i have i got smashed but you go girl
Written by Guest on 2005-09-26 17:32:44hey at least you have the guts to do it. i always wanted to but im always afraid. i give you so much credit for actually going in.
Written by Guest on 2005-09-26 17:31:27
Written by felicha. on 2005-08-30 18:51:28
im the same exact way. its nice to know someone feels this way. 

Written by XxShotToTheChest on 2005-08-23 13:22:53i’m pretty much the same way. i always want to dance so bad but i’m about 5’2″ and 92 pounds, so i can easily get the crap beat out of me in the pit. but i always have a great time watching and every now and then i’ll get in there and have fun if i know people are watching out for me when things get rough!
just do it
Written by brokenpromisex on 2005-08-22 23:45:05
i used to be the same way. 
id always say would dance and then i ended not, and i would and i would regret it. but then i just got my courage up and started trhwoing down with the rest of em. once you do it you stop worrying about getting hit and stuff.
just do it
Written by brokenpromisex on 2005-08-22 23:42:53
i used to be the same way. 
id always say would dance and then i ended not, and i would and i would regret it. but then i just got my courage up and started trhwoing down with the rest of em. once you do it you stop worrying about getting hit and stuff.
Written by twosteptoahospitalbed on 2005-08-05 23:30:11the first time I ever jumped out was for a tiny little band with like, 2 other kids dancing. After that I starting going for the huge shit. I love it, and I don’t really think about what I’m doing, I just get pumped and have to dance.
Written by Guest on 2005-07-31 06:41:25
i get scared just like you. day,i will dance!
Written by Guest on 2005-07-23 18:00:13

 everytime i try to just watch the band, the music takes over and i have to go out and dance. i think the adrenaline protects me from noticing how much it hurts cause i don;t usually feel it til the next day. but i always love seeing other girls out there too…if anything it makes me feel more comfortable!
chicks in the pit
Written by metal cinderella on 2005-07-18 16:23:20
it is definitely hard being a female in any scene that is a host to the mosh pit. 
Mosh pits can be 100% fun for anyone, but always know your limit. You don’t need to ever stay in the pit, you can always jump in for a crazy riff that has you going nuts and then jump right out after you’ve had enough. Just beware of people around you & have funnnn
Written by ihadninelives on 2005-07-14 13:06:02
i used to dance or stand in the pit at almost every show i went to, but i feel like i miss the bands’ performances when i do that now. so lately i’ve actually watched them play instead of throwing my limbs. 
as far as you dancing goes… you won’t get hurt if you just swing faster and kick harder than the person next to you.
Written by LollA on 2005-07-11 07:44:00
at the beginning i say, no i won’t go… then i look at the pit, see all my friends dancing and i get frustrated. so i jump in! 
so you should. when you feel it in your stomach, go…!
stay in the pit
Written by jessixjean on 2005-07-08 20:47:13

i think all gurls should be able to dance in the pit. when the boys say no clit in the pit spin kick em and show them how a real gurl dances. any gurl can dance as good or better as any boy in the pit…mosh it up gurls
go for it
Written by xallroyx on 2005-06-28 07:54:41
I guess it wasn’t as hard for me becasue I was going to punk shows for years and circle pitting. Yeah, sometimes I think I may look stupid, but who cares because it really is all about having a good time. And those breakdowns
 You’ve just got to!
ryan..fuck you im edge
Written by Guest on 2005-06-11 07:27:03
i think its awesome when girls dance, but i am a firm believer in equality 
so if you are going to get in and dish out pain you are going to have to take it too. 
no one targets the ladies out here in phoenix but i dont know ive never been to a hardcore show outside of arizona.. 
bottom line. dont be afraid, just go for it, because once you get over that fear for the first time you’ll never really have it again =] 
Written by Guest on 2005-06-08 18:44:18
Go for it, babe. 
As an chick myself, I love to mosh. I’m pretty lucky, though. The guys are in the pit are always dolls, and help everyone up when they fall. Even if this isn’t the case for you, I’d still go for it, just to show yourself you can do it.
go for it
Written by Guest on 2005-06-08 17:28:46personally, i’m always really impressed when i see girls bring the mosh. But you have to be willing to take the pain, just like the guys do. It’s not like your really trying to hurt anyone, it just kinda happens beacause of the nature of the energy that gets released when people dance. It works both ways tho, dont feel bad about spinkicking the shit out of some fool jock boy who thinks he’s tough. and if anyone starts shit with you just for being a girl and dancing, in most cases he’ll get what he deserves, i know i hate guys like that, and where i live we make sure their days of hurting girls at shows end real fast.
Written by Guest on 2005-06-05 01:36:42
i came across your site on the sXe online forums, and was curious about what was written here. although i am not female, i have a lot of female friends who love to pit, but are held back by abusive males at shows who believe woman don’t belong. it has gotten to the point, that when my female friends want to pit, me and several others have to form a wall and clear it, because if not, the girls get targetted. i find it a shame that it must be this way. 
[email protected]
Written by Guest on 2005-05-31 02:09:09damn i can definetly relate ive been going 2 shows 4 awhile now but never have enuf confidence 2 dance its either cus i dont wanna get knocked down or im 2 shy 2 actually try & cross step
definitely dance.
Written by moshNrollXXX on 2005-05-28 13:40:33
dance. fo sho boo. 
Written by Guest on 2005-05-25 05:55:44
Im so happy that most girls feel this, jus reading this has boosted my levels to dance this sunday 
Written by xunityhaintsox on 2005-05-24 12:51:09
I get the same way ill want to go in the pit but then something holds me back. i always wait when its not too brutal but sometimes ill be like what the heck just go in. i know the consequences. 
though they are always guys blokcing me on not letting me go but i push them and just have fun.
Written by imlockednloaded on 2005-05-24 08:34:57I always get that adrenaline and feel like I want to step in but I never get the courage, and I always say “next song I will.” It hard until you finaly get that confidence to be able to jump in there and not care. I’ll keep doing it in the privacy of my own room until I’m confident enough to step in and show all those boys up.
Written by xxxWARZONExxx on 2005-05-23 13:54:26
yep i totally fucking hear ya. I feel all weird when i’m the only chick in the pit but wtf, its so worth it. do what you wanna do fuck everything let youself go, its so worth it, it feels great! 

Written by fuckthescene on 2005-05-23 02:16:30
fuck yeah. Bring Out Your Dead has the illest breakdown. 
don’t worry about all this “practice” shit people are talkin about; the best time to dance is when your adrenaline is pumpin out of sheer excitement for a certain band – just let it come to you, you’re not supposed to think about it or plan it, thats when your shit looks whack and the dick doods prey on you. 
and if busters are out of control throwin fists at you, just use that as fuel to get into it throw it right back at them . . . a love tap, if you must . . . 
and don’t worry about doing it right or not – establish your own style. you’ll get the most respect if you develop your own original moves. 
i saw etid, dillinger, misery signals, and zao a while back, in december, and i fucken went crazy. no one messed with me cuz they saw that i was a serious chick there for the bands, not to throwdown with my crew or be a pit killer. 
and fuck the guys who are hypocrites – talkin about “unity” when they have misogynistic tendencies. they’re really just releasing suppressed sexual tension. 
in the end, its all you. be yourself and embrace the music.
Written by Guest on 2005-05-22 05:43:38
if this’ll help – 
you’re lucky to even have shows like that!! where i live, we have gigs once evry few months, or more, and even then you don’t get much of an opportunity. i don’t think there has been any gig here where i live that people dance in, just circle pits (incredible fun) and moshes
Written by Guest on 2005-05-20 18:31:03i say do it, i dance at shows, some guys are assholes and purposely go after the girls dancing but fuck them. hey, on this note, anyone know any sites where you can see videos of people dancing? i dance at shows myself, i just havent been to a show since january and im a little rusty ha. so if anyone could help me out itll be appreciated
Written by beatofherdrum on 2005-05-20 14:44:57
I was once like you, until I was fed up with the gender inequality and just said “fuck it.” I’m going to tell you, the pain, it isn’t so bad. It hurts for a little while, but seems to go as soon as it comes. 5 minutes tops (unless something serious happens, but that’s a rarity.)  
I say go fot it. You’ll feel so empowered once you do.
Written by Guest on 2005-05-20 14:43:46
I was once like you, until I was fed up with the gender inequality and just said “fuck it.” I’m going to tell you, the pain, it isn’t so bad. It hurts for a little while, but seems to go as soon as it comes. 5 minutes tops (unless something serious happens, but that’s a rarity.) 
I say go fot it. You’ll feel so empowered once you do.
Written by lastofadyngbreed on 2005-05-20 13:16:02
its funny how girls would want to go in only after they see that another girl went in… i guess it gives the motivation that “i too can get in!”  
i might’ve had the same conception at one point, for a sec, but if dancing is what you want to do then you should practice
 and go for it. its not going to be easy! if you want to go in, to esp. dance, you’re going to get hard b/c some people notice that you can’t dance and go after you. so just be warned, those kids will try to bring you down. it took a lot of being pummelled, thrown on the ground, and socked for me to be where i’m at now and as good and confident as now. try, try hard!! this shit takes skill!
Written by eckskayecks on 2005-05-20 01:06:30
i went through the same thing. each show i went to i started dancing more now i’m not embarassed/nervous at all! 
its fun, lady. step to it.
Written by xkillingUisMurderx on 2005-05-20 01:02:44
wow girl u need to step it up fuck it! i know how that feels i used to think like that but i saw how all my friends where having fun and stuff and now i feel stepped it up and i get out there some times well most of th etime im the only girl in the pit but fuck it i fucken love to dance its me me so just don’t think of it go crazy i also live in san antonio maybe we can dance it up together some day its all good sister u’lll ge it when ur ready! 
Written by Guest on 2005-05-20 00:13:20Just do it! I myself don’t, because I’m not sure I know exactly how to; but I practice and when I feel I can do it, I’ll go in. Represent for us hardcore girls :]
Written by xGemmax on 2005-05-19 23:24:56
When I first started to dance I was self conscious, am i doing it right? do i look stupid? is everyone watching? 
Some people maybe watching yes, but mostly they will be too wrapped up in the band or dancing themselves to care what exactly Iam doing. 
I dont worry too much about getting hit, i find my own space and try to be aware of everyone around when im doing stuff, if i do get hit…I just dust myself off and go again. 
This shouldnt be an exclusive boy thing, more girls should find the courage to do what they want to do regardless!
Written by Guest on 2005-05-19 22:47:12i feel you on this one…
Written by Guest on 2005-05-19 22:46:40Yeah, i get the same way. I know girls who dance and its amazing. you always get that feeling like AHH I WANNA GO IN! but u never do. My guy friends say do it! and that ur shy at first but after its like fuck yes! so yeah haha i know how u feel….

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